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Flying_Squirrel

Mystica - A story by me

Lend me your thoughts  

  1. 1. What do you think of the story?

    • It's good, keep working on it
      0
    • It's okay, lacking things in the plot though
      0
    • It's okay, lack in character development though
      0
    • Not my cup of tea (Not a genre I'm interested in)
      0
    • It's rubbish, don't continue with it
      0
    • Other (please specify)
      0


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Been on and off working on a si-fi (ish) adventure story. Not sure if it's worth continuing to pursue and I'd really appreciate some feedback on any aspects of the story you do and don't like. The intro goes on a bit, but I think it'll become necessary if I decide to progress the story line.   

I actually made a cover a couple years back for it too:

 

Spoiler

59cb8a46d79be_MysticaFinalCover.thumb.jpg.7f380eb1acd734399b0e72bc854088dc.jpg

 

Mystica.pdf

 

Edited by Flying_Squirrel

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You should vary your sentences. Right off the bat, you start the vast majority of them with "I". The start is otherwise good in terms of hooking - I'll update as I read through it.

  • Upvote 1

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5 hours ago, Seeker said:

You should vary your sentences. Right off the bat, you start the vast majority of them with "I". The start is otherwise good in terms of hooking - I'll update as I read through it.

Okay, thank you for your input!

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